Grocery shopping

It was at the grocery store that I first realized that many people, usually women, were surprised to see that my wife had "allowed" me to leave the house alone to go shopping with two kids.  I consistently hear random comments like "Wow! I'm impressed." or "You have your hands full!"  The strange thing is, my boys are really well behaved for me the majority of the time, so I am usually confused about how my hands are any more full than any other parents in the store.  I was also confused why they only seemed to make comments to me and didn't even acknowledge the many women who were also in the store shopping with their kids. 

I have always done all of the cooking, so I have always done all of the grocery shopping and in my opinion, there was no reason for that to change once we had kids.  When my wife finished her maternity leave and resumed working, I started taking my boys with me on all of my errands.  I would always make sure I packed our diaper backpack (because I'm way too cool for a diaper bag/purse) with plenty of diapers, wipes, extra clothes, and snacks.  I like to believe I am well prepared for any situation that may occur in the 1-2 hours that I am out of the house.  

I was initially offended by women making these seemingly random comments to me.  I didn't understand why it was such a big deal for a dad to be grocery shopping alone with his kids.  As I have become more cognizant of how dads are portrayed through movies, TV sitcoms, commercials, etc. I have begun to realize why these women are so shocked to see me venture out of the house "unsupervised." Commericals like this one portray dads as incapable idiots who can not be left alone with their kids without the house falling apart so how could I be capable enough to actually leave the house?

I have definitely had moments where I felt overwhelmed with both of my kids.  I am not perfect, but as long as I always try my best, I don't have to be. I realize there are a lot of dads who are not involved with their kids, or who are terrified at the thought of being left alone with them for an extended period of time, but there are plenty of capable dads who do an amazing job.  That's why people need to see capable dads in action.  It's the only way to start changing the "dad perception." 

Dads need to be built up instead of being the butt of the jokes, so now instead of getting internally (and unnecessarily) offended by the random comments, I choose to graciously accept the compliments given to me and thank them.  The world needs to see capable dads in action, so get out there and show them how great you are!

Introductions

I became a dad on February 6, 2013.  I remember being terrified of screwing up and not knowing what to do so I bought a bunch of parenting books so I could attempt to become an expert before my son was born.  I actually did read a couple of them, but nothing could actually prepare me for the unforgettable moment that I first saw my son's fuzzy little head being squeezed out of my wife.  I remember that I was so overwhelmed with emotion.  I felt as if I had had an empty expanse within me that was suddenly flooded with an unexplainable amount of love for this little person that I had just barely met.  

As my boy grew older and we eventually had another four years later, I began to realize that many people seem to believe that dads are incapable morons who shouldn't be trusted to be alone with their own kids.  Before I became a dad, I never noticed how dads were portrayed in movies, tv sitcoms, books, commercials, etc.  However, I did notice the strange looks and comments from random strangers whenever I would leave the house alone with my boys.  My eyes were opened even more when I became a stay at home dad and a full-time student.  It seemed that people were amazed that I would have the courage (or audacity) to venture out of the house without my wife supervising me. 

I began to get frustrated with how dads are portrayed, so I decided that I wanted to start this blog as a way to give people a different perspective of what a real-life dad is.  I decided to name it: "The Capable Dad" because the word capable is defined as the ability to do something.  As Wade Boggs once said, "Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad."

I'm not perfect, but I am capable.

-Richie (The Capable Dad)