It was at the grocery store that I first realized that many people, usually women, were surprised to see that my wife had "allowed" me to leave the house alone to go shopping with two kids. I consistently hear random comments like "Wow! I'm impressed." or "You have your hands full!" The strange thing is, my boys are really well behaved for me the majority of the time, so I am usually confused about how my hands are any more full than any other parents in the store. I was also confused why they only seemed to make comments to me and didn't even acknowledge the many women who were also in the store shopping with their kids.
I have always done all of the cooking, so I have always done all of the grocery shopping and in my opinion, there was no reason for that to change once we had kids. When my wife finished her maternity leave and resumed working, I started taking my boys with me on all of my errands. I would always make sure I packed our diaper backpack (because I'm way too cool for a diaper bag/purse) with plenty of diapers, wipes, extra clothes, and snacks. I like to believe I am well prepared for any situation that may occur in the 1-2 hours that I am out of the house.
I was initially offended by women making these seemingly random comments to me. I didn't understand why it was such a big deal for a dad to be grocery shopping alone with his kids. As I have become more cognizant of how dads are portrayed through movies, TV sitcoms, commercials, etc. I have begun to realize why these women are so shocked to see me venture out of the house "unsupervised." Commericals like this one portray dads as incapable idiots who can not be left alone with their kids without the house falling apart so how could I be capable enough to actually leave the house?
I have definitely had moments where I felt overwhelmed with both of my kids. I am not perfect, but as long as I always try my best, I don't have to be. I realize there are a lot of dads who are not involved with their kids, or who are terrified at the thought of being left alone with them for an extended period of time, but there are plenty of capable dads who do an amazing job. That's why people need to see capable dads in action. It's the only way to start changing the "dad perception."
Dads need to be built up instead of being the butt of the jokes, so now instead of getting internally (and unnecessarily) offended by the random comments, I choose to graciously accept the compliments given to me and thank them. The world needs to see capable dads in action, so get out there and show them how great you are!
